Nobody Compares
by TashD
Summary: Story about the relationship of Lorraine and Nikki because I love them so much and ship lorikki to the end. Don't expect this to be good- just a warning ;) I'd love some reviews so I know if I should carry on writing it and I promise to try and make each chapter better :D
1. Chapter 1

**Nikki POV **

I drive slowly into Lorraine's drive, not wanting to scratch her precious Ferrari. Getting swiftly out of my car I'm determined to tell her how I feel and hopefully hear that she reciprocates the feelings. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm straightening my blazer and marching up to her door with a façade of confidence. It doesn't last very long at all and I stop to briefly check my hair in the nearest window and have a quick mint; 'got to be cool' I think to myself but it wasn't so easy, when I was around her I just felt like my heart was melting- I know it sounds cliché. The weather was perfect and the azure turquoise sea was melodically moving with the wind. If only I could walk along the coast with her, hand in hand. Laughing and joking and then stopping on the shore and kissing her, with the sun setting in the horizon. That image had been in my head ever since we kissed for the first time and I was determined to make it happen. I guess I could, but I don't know if she'd want to. Listen to myself! The fact that she is my boss and my insecurities about how she feels about me are stopping me from making any advances: I feel like I'm always treading on egg shells- scared that any moment it would all go wrong. That's why I am here today.

**Lorraine POV**

Finally, sitting down on my plush leather sofa and kicking my feet up, I can relax and not have to worry so much about budgets and expenditure. Suddenly I hear the businesslike ringtone of my phone. I sigh in frustration and swear under my breath. Do I never get a break? All I want to do is sit on my sofa and drink my coffee and maybe watch some TV- is that too much to ask? Regardless of my annoyance, I walk briskly over to where my phone is precariously lying on the kitchen counter; shaking my hair behind my shoulders and trying to get back into professional mode. Without even checking the caller ID, I answer the call. "What do you want?" I ask, trying not to let my anger show but failing- a hint of venom in my voice. "Hey, It's Nikki…I'm outside your apartment but I could come back another time to discuss the lesson evaluations?" Oh God. Nikki was outside my apartment earlier than I expected. Her voice sounds so cute on the phone I can't focus. "Oh um I'll..I'll be right there" I say, flipping my carefully curled hair over my shoulder. Do I have time to brush my teeth and top up my mascara? I don't want to seem to eager and run to the door but I really am quite desperate to see her smiling down at me with that twinkle in her eyes. I don't even know what my feelings for her are even though it was me who initiated that kiss. The kiss that played on my mind day and night, our only kiss. Oh how I want to kiss her again, and I know she wants to kiss me but I keep brushing her off any time she gets more intense than just mild flirting. I hate myself for it.

**Nikki POV**

The front door finally opens and I see Lorraine looking flustered yet stunning as always. For a minute I forget myself and just gaze into her eyes- blue pools of every shade. I can't stop: I'm literally just gazing at every detail on her face with my mouth open. She is so stunning- from the shape of her face to the way her lips curl up gently at the sides "Come in then!" -her Cockney accent bringing me out of my reverie sharply. "sorry I was miles away" I admit. "You look really great by the way" I mumble. Really great? She looked more than great but one step at a time. Lorraine blushes slightly and dips her head ever so slightly. She looks up at me with a smile, radiant as ever. "You don't look half bad yourself Miss Boston" we share one last intent gaze when she finally invites me inside. I follow her into her apartment, using all the willpower that I have not to check her out from behind- she was ridiculously attractive. Instead I chewed nervously on the inside of my cheek and brush my eyes over every item in her house. It was just so simple yet stylish. I probably should have guessed that her furniture would be modern; what with her hatred of the dusty old items of the past. Her house really suits her and I couldn't help but smile to myself about just how lucky I was.


	2. Chapter 2

**I love reviews even if you're telling me the story is terrible just review anyway ;)**

**Lorraine POV**

This is the fifth time today I have just sat in the toilets and cried. I feel so pathetic. Mascara smearing down my cheeks, mercilessly dragged by my tears. I feel like a tree just purposelessly there in the middle of the ocean waiting for someone to just cut me down. I've felt terrible ever since I ended it with her and I feel like a hole has been shot through my heart- multiple times. Mum forgetting me has made me realise just how important relationships are, and Josh putting Tom before anything else. If only I'd realised this before I told Nikki that it was "fun while it lasted" or whatever nonsense I had said maybe my life wouldn't be so wretched as it is now. 'Money isn't everything' they told me. Of course I didn't listen, with a huge fortune and a successful career ahead I just laughed and responded 'everything is money'. My life seemed so put together then, so organised and perfect. I still can't figure out if it was the fact that I entered a relationship in the first place that mucked things up or whether it's the fact that I got my priorities completely wrong.

I don't regret trying to make things up with her- how can I? At least I tried. I can't blame her though really. She has her guard up, I can understand why. Who would want to get back together with someone like me who can't express emotion and puts pay checks before everything? I still don't know If I love her but all I know is that I'm on the verge of tears every time I roll over in bed and she isn't there; when I make coffee in the morning but one mug stays empty. I have never cried as much in my whole life as I have done this past week. I guess Sonya's been there for me but I she can't help me get mum or Nikki back. Obviously I know there's no hope with mum- I lost her a long time ago: expecting money for her care to replace me. I can send my love with Sonya I suppose; Son deserves it really- always feeling second best to everyone. I had no idea she felt like that- I'd always seen her as upbeat and contented with everything. To be honest I'd rather be her than myself at the moment, she isn't so emotionally stunted when it comes to relationships. What did I expect though really, trying to apologise to Nikki after breaking up with her harshly only a couple of hours before. I've been an idiot and made a pig of my life. All I want is her toned body close to mine, breathtakingly close so that I can hear her breathing and know I have a purpose.

**Nikki POV**

Another day brooding alone in the pub nursing a pint. I'm driving home alone again in my car- my insides are tangled like tree roots and I feel like I'm gasping for air. I don't want to put my heart on the line for Lorraine, this isn't a joke for me- I loved her. I probably still do but who can tell anyomre. It's all a mess. I quickly grab a cigarette out of my bag and light it deftly with one hand whilst placing it in my dry mouth – I take a long drag, being careful to keep my eyes on the road. A cigarette can't replace her kisses I think to myself. What does it matter anyway. I was the one who ended it with her, saying that I didn't want to be her experiment; her puppet. What have I done? I've just lost my girlfriend, my friend, the one person I could be completely myself around. What makes the situation all the more awkward Is that she is my boss, and Michael and Sonya know so there's no chance of avoiding her or the debris left behind. Well at least one positive thing came of it all- Lorraine doesn't have to be a hypocrite anymore- It isn't even funny but I let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. I laugh to hide the tears. Finally I arrive home and sink into my sofa, I feels so alone and I just want to curl up and cry. I'm too strong for this I think, "can't let a break up ruin me" I whisper- not sure who I'm whispering to. Who am I trying to fool? I feel heartbroken as if somebody had literally wrenched out my interna organs and stopped m breathing but I know I have no chance with her now. I turn on the TV to distract myself. It doesn't work, it's all just a blur. Faint noises in the background eup my brain even more. I notice that 'Friends' is on; my favourite. I turn my attention to it in a hopeless attempt to cheer myself up but it's the episode I watched with her last Friday night. With a lone tear falling slowly down my face and landing ever so gently in the corner of my mouth I throw the remote down onto the ground, running a hand through my hair and making a choking noise at the back of my throat. I brush the tear from my face roughly as if it burns. I should call her. I reach for my phone left carelessly on the ground- my hand shakes but I finally manage to pick it up. I scroll through my contacts and reach the familiar name; the most important name in my contacts recently. My hand trembles as I go to send a text making everything okay. Tell her I am sorry and we can talk through it and confess I still love her, because I do.

"I love you, I'm sorry babe" is what I try and type but all I see on the screen is a jumble of letters- effortlessly mirroring my emotions and thoughts. I sigh and throw my phone with all my power at the TV- still showing the characters from 'Friends' smiling and living their less pathetic lives. I have no chance with her now. A crushing pain pushes down within me and I sink hopelessly against a wall. Slowly sinking until I am an insignificant foetus on the ground. Where did it all go wrong? I don't even have the strength to get a beer from the fridge and drown my sorrows, I just sit here and stare into nothing, I don't even think about anything- not even her. It's just nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize to any people following my fanfic who were waiting for an update! I would blame it on my exams and controlled assessments but they haven't taken up that much time. I think the reason that I delayed writing more was because each week I was unsure of what was going on between Lorraine and Nikki or whatever. This chapter skips from my last one to where Lorikki left off in the last episode where Lorraine leaves *le cries* so yeah let's pretend the ship hasn't sunk..enjoy :D**

**ps- **please leave a review, I don't even care if it's negative I just really want responses and constructive criticism or whatever

**Lorraine's POV**

_She said she'd see me around. Did she mean it or was it just a phrase that slipped off her tongue as naturally as breathing? I still had feelings for her and I thought she did for me too, the way that our gazes lingered for that extra moment and the way that whenever either of us needed consoling; it was always the other we would go to. I sat in my Ferrari remembering when she gave me a coffee on the last day that I saw her. That was nearly 2 months ago now. I doubt she still remembers me. _

Sighing, Lorraine was pulled swiftly from her thoughts at the sound of a car horn. "Shit", she hissed. The lights were on green. Sighing again, more heavily this time with an exasperated roll of her blue eyes, she sped up down the road- she was meant to be attending a finance meeting about a new business idea in Manchester. It was a stupid time for a meeting anyway, she thought- Saturday morning. Lorraine swerved suddenly into a nearby car park and whipped out her iPhone. She called the offices where she was meant to be attending the meeting and told them that she had been taken ill and couldn't come. She decided to put herself above work for once.

**Nikki's POV**

_It's been 8 weeks since Lorraine left but it's seemed like a century. I don't want to admit that I miss her but I do. If anything she was my only friend at Waterloo Road, if not my girlfriend. I suppose I could visit her; as far as I'm aware she still lives in Greenock but I don't know if I've forgiven her yet for blowing me off like a total bitch and then expecting me to fall back into her arms- however much I wanted to. If I visited her it would just bring all of the emotions back, probably best to just let it blow over. _

It was a bright Saturday morning and the beams of sun cascaded through the gap in the curtains of her bedroom but Nikki just lay on her bed thinking about what could have been and justifying herself for pushing Lorraine away. She'd ditched her weekly Saturday morning run because she just didn't feel up to it and her face was slowly but surely becoming less radiant every day, with the familiar black bags of a break up forming under her eyes. Deep inside, Nikki blamed herself that Lorraine was no longer sleeping with her or even in her life for that matter. She was fully aware that Lorraine had tried to get her back at least twice and then Nikki had gone and shot her down. Turning over in her bed to the gaping empty space beside her where she had used to been seeing Lorraine curled up and sleeping, Nikki was momentarily thankful because she knew that if she ever did see Lorraine again, she couldn't shoot her down a third time. On the other hand, if Lorraine did ever come back and still had feelings for Nikki, wouldn't they both be happy? Isn't that what she wanted? Nikki subconsciously checked her phone for a text, a voicemail- anything to convince her that Lorraine was thinking about her.

**Lorraine's POV**

_I'm sick of my human incompetence preventing me from being happy. Why can't I just express how I feel? Why am I such a robot? I miss the touch of Nikki's hands on my body and the smell of her cropped chestnut hair. I miss her northern accent that I find so sexy and I miss the way that she made me feel sunny on the inside. I'm so soppy but it's true, I really miss Nikki and I need to get over her. It's so clichéd but I understand now when people say that you only miss something when it's gone and regret something once its happened. I can't put my life on hold and think about Nikki though, I have to actually move on. Move forward. _

Lorraine decided to go out for a drive in her shining red Ferrari to clear her mind and to kill time on her Saturday with no plans as usual- except business meetings of course. She sat down briskly and clutched the wheel after turning on the radio, she resolved to no more sitting in her oversized house moping about Nikki, she was going to go out and live a little.


	4. Chapter 4

**Procrastinating as per so I decided to do a little fic about the relationship between Nikki and Christine (don't worry i'm not jumping ship (; ) but yeah it had to be done- this follows on from the last episode and my last fic so enjoy :D please leave a review **

**Nikki's POV**

_Getting over Lorraine is painful. Everything in what was once her school, reminds me of her bouncing blonde locks and her rare cheeky smile- I desperately need to move on. I couldn't get a new girlfriend to replace the gaping hole that Lorraine had left- or can I? Everyone always says that replacing the old with the new makes things better so maybe if I try and replace Lorraine, I can finally get over her. Who compares to Lorraine though? Who do I know who is anywhere near the league that Lorraine was in? _

As Nikki was stirring her mug of tea and pondering how to get over Lorraine, Christine came up slowly behind her. "What are you doing? Surely your tea is ready now Nikki?" Christine smirked, her distinctively Scottish accent piercing Nikki's thoughts. Nikki spun around quickly and with that action, the tea was all over the floor. "Sorry my head is somewhere else today, I better clean that up before registration, excuse me." Nikki mumbled whilst hastily pushing past Christine to get a cloth to mop the floor. "Nikki!" Christine said in a raised tone, "Go to your registration, I've got nothing to do- why don't you let me clean it up? It's no problem, honestly." She smiled and took the cloth off a flustered Nikki and smiled. "If you're sure it's no problem, Christine. It's just, I'm in a rush and my class will be having a riot if I don't hurry." Nikki sighed, never losing eye contact with the heat teacher in front of her. In these brief moments of chemistry, Nikki's mind again began to wonder.

**Nikki's POV**

_Christine! She's boss now, just like Lorraine. She's blonde, just like Lorraine. She has an accent, just like Lorraine. Shit, listen to myself? Why is everything always about Lorraine, she's gone now. I need to see Christine as a person within herself, not some replica of Lorraine. Christine is nice enough; I hated her up until the past week but I guess things change. We have a lot in common; we're both English teachers I guess. I don't know if I like her in that way though…besides, is she even gay? I guess I could just ask her for a drink, one drink can't harm surely. I have nothing to lose, going out to the pub is the evidently better alternative to crying myself to sleep and thinking about a certain ex. Plus, If I ask her for this drink, maybe I can get to know her better and we can completely smooth out all the creases. Just do it, what have I got to lose?_

"Um Nikki," Christine softly said whilst waving her hand before Nikki's glazed blue eyes, "weren't you in a ru-" Nikki cut her off quickly without assessing her words before they tumbled from her tongue, "fancy going for a drink later?". Christine looked taken aback but a smile slowly crept onto her face. "Sure, whatever. Now you best be off." And with that Nikki sped off to her class in a daze about what had just happened. Christine's mind was reciprocating Nikki's also. Had Nikki just asked her out? Did she even have feelings for her in that way? She considered that she might as well just go in order to comprehend the situation.

It was 7:30 that evening and Nikki was on her way to the pub to meet Christine. It wasn't really a date so she had opted for the simple white blouse and smart trousers. She drove hurriedly with anticipation; she still didn't really know what was going on and wanted to find out. She got to the Red Lion and saw Christine standing at the bar looking relatively attractive- nothing to Lorraine of course but she decided to diminish those kind of thoughts from her brain for the good of both women. She walked up behind Christine and whispered, "you don't drink do you Mulgrew?" to which Christine turned around, completely surprised by Nikki's stealth and retorted "No, I don't, but a lemonade is fine if you're offering." Nikki replied smilingly, "Of course." With their drinks ordered the women made their way over to a table for two in the corner of the pub. They sat down facing each other and tentatively smiled. Christine piped up with a smile, "So Nikki, are these drinks to create eternal peace between us?" Nikki scoffed and jokily uttered, "I don't know about eternal but yeah sure." They enjoyed a couple of conversations about the school, about Greenock and about current affairs but then the topic of Michael and Lorraine came up. "So when was it when you and Lorraine split up?" Christine asked Nikki, all the humour erased from her face. "Um about 2 months ago, it was no big deal" Nikki said, barely hiding the pain from her voice. "Shame really but she was a bit of a bitch so I bet it wasn't your fault. Her and Michael would have been suited together, the power couple with stones for hearts if you ask me" Christine said, barely audible now. Nikki nodded and decided to flirt with Christine on impulse. It just felt right at the time, "Maybe they should have been an item, and then we could have got together- I really like you Christine, correct me if I'm wrong but I get the impression that you like me to." With these words having been said, the heads of Nikki and Christine were slowly moving towards each other and their eyes were locked, every detail of their surroundings lost.

Meanwhile Lorraine was in her car planning to enjoy the evening and forget all of her worries. Admittedly, her only worry was Nikki and she was going out to forget her. Every evening she had almost been tempted to drive to Nikki's house and beg for her to come back; but her pride wouldn't allow it. On this particular evening she decided to quit acting like a lost puppy and boost her confidence and the fierce nature she had always had. She was driving around Greenock pretending to have not a care in the world and with the breeze rushing through her hair and a cigarette poking out of her carefully glossed lips; she wound up at the Red Lion. She was going to get drunk and get happy. She pushed open the door with a new found confidence in her independent self and she strode over to the bar to order a cocktail. She purchased her drink and as she was turning away from the bar tender daintily holding her luscious pink beverage- a couple in the corner caught her eye. They were passionately making out and somehow she just couldn't look away. She was entranced. Strangely one of the women looked like Nikki. Lorraine looked more closely , squinting her large blue eyes. It was Nikki! At that moment, Nikki looked up, their eyes locked, and Lorraine dropped her cocktail on the floor with a deafening smash. She let out a sob from the back of her throat: the façade of confidence completely lost by now, and she ran out of the pub to the safe clutches of her precious Ferrari.


End file.
